Progress?

I remember when I was a kid, we knew all of our neighbors. We may not have been on a first name basis with all of them, but we knew who they were. The lack of first name basis may have been due to the fact that my parents taught me respect for my elders, and we didn’t call adults by their first names. Ever. It just wasn’t something that was done. The only adults I remember addressing by their first name were family, and even then, their name was preceded by either “Aunt” or “Uncle”. If I remember correctly, we didn’t even refer to the pastors at the church I grew up in by their first names. It was always “Pastor (insert last name here)”.

I don’t think all of this was due to the fact that I grew up in a relatively small town, either. I truly believe it was due to the fact that I had parents who actually parented. We were always held accountable for our actions, and the attitudes behind those actions. I grew up knowing, without any degree of ambiguity, that there were consequences for how I behaved. Seems like the word consequences is a curse word in today’s society. It’s really a neutral word that should not connote either positive or negative feelings. Consequences are merely the effects of a given action. If I were to hit myself in the ankle with a baseball bat that I’ve swung as hard as I can, the consequence would be that I will have pain, possibly for several weeks or months to come. If I fulfilled the responsibilities that I had, I had the consequence that there was a lack of strife or pain in my immediate future. Don’t take that last sentence the wrong way, though. It doesn’t mean that I grew up in constant fear of punishment or pain. I simply understood that when I carried the things that I was expected to carry, blessings would come instead of curses. I’d be praised for my accomplishments rather than having the privileges that I enjoyed removed.

I guess you could say I grew up understanding what free will actually is. I always had a choice in how I behaved, and if I did something other than what I truly understood to be appropriate, I had the expectation that some form of unpleasantness would follow. It may not follow immediately on every occasion, but at some point, it was likely to come. The older I get, the more convinced I am that less and less of society at large is learning what consequences are, and it shows. In fact, its appearances are ever increasing. How else can you explain the spreading belief that words can actually be construed as physical violence? Or that adults (yes, college students fit every criteria to fulfill the definition of adults) have to be rescued from prison in China because they shoplifted while they were visiting there? Just because you were never taught personal responsibility doesn’t negate the fact that there are consequences for your actions. Personally, I think every single one of those thieving basketball players should have been left there to deal with those consequences on their own. We’ll see if being bailed out by the U.S. government does anything to change the path their past life decisions have put them on. So far, it doesn’t look promising.

I say all the time (and my wife will bear witness to this), that “the downfall of society is the complete and total lack of personal responsibility.” I’ll stand by that statement until the day I die, no matter how many decades distant that date may be. If people were actually responsible for themselves, that would mean that no other entity on the planet would be responsible for them. They would actually own their own stuff, and would carry it without expecting anyone else to do so. If they are carrying their own stuff, it means I don’t have to. It also means that since I’m carrying all of my own stuff, you don’t have to do it for me.

What that does not mean is that we don’t all need help from one another from time to time. Everyone gets punched in the teeth by life, and it hurts every single time it happens. However, many times that people get punched in the teeth by life, it’s at least partially, and many times mostly self-inflicted. And, yes, I include myself in that statement. While some things happen that are unavoidable, there are many that are completely avoidable simply by being responsible and conducting ourselves wisely. It seems that a large portion of  “adults” have disengaged their logic, reason, and critical thinking, many of them permanently. It’s as if they truly couldn’t fathom that their actions would have those consequences. I mean, who knew that vandalizing public property would result in arrest, criminal charges, and monetary penalties?? Especially when it’s recorded and posted to social media like a badge of honor or bravery for standing up to the man in supposed protest to personal oppression. When in all honesty, it appears that they just wanted to break something that didn’t belong to them because it was what everyone else was doing, and they don’t have any impulse control. Yep, it all comes back to personal responsibility or the lack thereof.

Thinking about all of this reminds me of something I heard growing up, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Seems a lot of people never heard that, or have chosen to forget it. “But,” they’ll say, “the government gives free stuff to people all the time, and I want what’s coming to me.” Someone has to foot the bill for everything. For some reason, that’s a difficult concept for many people to grasp. Maybe because they’ve been told for so long by so many faulty sources of so-called “knowledge” that socialism is awesome. Besides, it’s easier getting paid for doing nothing than it is actually earning a living, isn’t it? I would say it probably is, but the price you’ll pay in dignity, self respect, and lack of purpose far outweigh any monetary gains you think you’ve made. Every. Single. Time.

We’re right in the middle of the holiday season, which seems more and more to bring out the worst in people. Just look on YouTube at the insanity that erupts at malls all over the country on Black Friday. There’s an old song that declares, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.” If we forget to be thankful for the amazing privilege we’ve been given simply by breathing, being able to walk around, and having a roof over our heads to keep us dry and warm, and are willing to get into fistfights with strangers over that newfangled gadget we’ve just got to have because everyone else has one, and getting it will make me one of the cool kids, this most definitely will NOT be the most wonderful time of the year.

Have we progressed as we’ve moved as a society from the “old fashioned” ways of our grandparents, and maybe even our parents? I’m only 42 years old, and the way I grew up could probably be considered old fashioned by the standards of today. To me, it seems that the more we progress, the uglier things seem to be. If we’re giving up kindness for progress, what results will that trade bring us in the future? None of them look very attractive to me, since we’re growing more and more disconnected from the people who live right next door to us. If you’re reading this and think you’re not being carried by the wave of disconnection that’s been taking place, stop and think for just a minute. Can you come up with a list of ten of your neighbor’s first names? By neighbors, I’m just referring to people who live on your block or in your apartment complex. I’ll admit, I can’t. I should probably do something to change that…

If we’d take more time to sit and talk with the people who live in close proximity to us over a cup of coffee every once in awhile, I’m thinking we’d all realize that no matter what they look like, what they do for a living, or how they view the world that we’re all sharing, we have far more things in common with them than we could imagine. And I’m pretty sure that realization would make us all just a little kinder to one another. Maybe that truly would make the next few weeks the most wonderful time of the year. Now, that would be progress.