I’ve been dealing a lot lately with disappointment and hatred, kinda without even realizing that’s what I was struggling with. For me, disappointment sneaks in and comes to visit when I fall into the trap of comparing where it appears I am with where I think I should be.
Instead of living for each day and being thankful for where I am and what I have, if I’m not intentional about my thought life, I can very easily fall into being disappointed in myself. I’m not even sure where that came from. I think we all have dreams for what we’ll someday become or what we would like to accomplish in life. If we’re not there yet, should we feel disappointment, though? Maybe it comes from looking too far ahead, and forgetting all the great things we’ve done in our past.
Simply living out life and doing what we know we’re supposed to do can yield fruit that we may never even realize. The other day after my wife got off the phone with one of our kids, she told me that he had said something neither of us had thought of. We got married when I was 24, and she already had 4 kids. Like any new parent, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, so I just did the best I could with what I knew, and I think I got a little better as time went on. I’ve always been very intentional in how I treat my wife, whether anyone else is around or not. I’ve also been responsible in showing up for work and doing what I’m being paid for while I’m there. I just found out that those two simple things have made a huge impact on one of my sons. He told my wife, “I ask myself all the time, “How would Aaron do this?” when I’m making a decision on what to do.”
That short little statement right there made me realize it’s the little things, and the way we live our day to day lives that make the biggest impact on the people around us. This stuff can’t be taught with head knowledge or telling someone how to do them. If we’re consistenetly true to who we were created to be in the everyday, mundane day to day lives we live, we will have an impact on those around us. We don’t have to browbeat people into coming over to our way of thinking. In fact, that’s probably the best way to prove to them we have no idea what we’re talking about. Especially if we’re believers. For far too long, the church has been perceived as an exclusive club of people with superiority complexes who would rather do anything other than give someone outside the club our time and attention.
I just realized last night and this morning, both through conversation with my infinitely patient wife, and crying my way through several worship songs this morning as our breakfast was cooking itself in the oven, that I’ve been focusing entirely too much on the not yet happening aspects of my life rather than the amazing blessings and ridiculously trauma free life I’ve lived over the past 40 plus years.
How am I going to give away the light I have inside me if I’m sitting here in the dark, brooding over something that was said or done yesterday, last week, last year, or whenever that seemed malicious or intentional? Where is my focus supposed to be? Should it be on the current political or social climate? Or should it be on the people I have right here around me that I can reach out and touch? People with whom I can just be who I was created to be, living out my mundane, day to day existence doing what I know is right, based on who and what I am in and through the one who created me.
I’ve finally grown sick of being focused on the wrong things. I now realize it’s been killing me over the past several weeks and even months, and it’s robbed me of the enjoyment I was intended to have on a daily basis. Not to say every day is going to be easy. That’s just crazy talk right there. But every day will certainly be easier when I remember to be more intentional about what it is I’m focusing on and spending my attention on.
It’s far too easy to fall into the trap of becoming stuck on that one thing, focusing on it instead of on the One who made us. That one thing could be something someone said to us. Remember that unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer. That someone else probably doesn’t even realize they’ve slighted you. Even if they do, your refusing to forgive them really doesn’t affect them in the slightest. Except that it changes how you interact with them. If it changes how you interact with them, it could very possible change your witness before them, and they’ll see darkness in you instead of the light and life that is the very purpose for our being on this planet right here and right now.
Or maybe that one thing is the dream you’ve had within yourself for so long that at this very moment still hasn’t been realized. Ok, so you haven’t made it there yet, but are you still breathing? Don’t give up and stop doing the very things that will propel you in the direction of that dream just because it’s taken longer than you originally thought it would take. Were you given a specific time table, succinctly spelled out by God Himself, telling you when you would have that dream come true? If not, who are you to say that it’s taking too long, or moving too slowly? Maybe you’re expecting something different out of that dream than what it was originally intended to accomplish in your life. If you were told to write, were you told that millions would be reading what you were writing? If not, why are you questioning the point of your writing? You weren’t told, “Go and be read.”, were you? Writing isn’t being read. Writing is writing.
If you were told to pray for someone, would you stop praying for them simply because you weren’t personally seeing the results of that prayer? Who are you to put a timetable on what God has asked you to do? If He asked you to do something, and you’re not currently doing it, why not?
Trust me, I’m talking as much to myself as I am to the person reading this. I don’t have anything figured out here. Except that by not following through on what God has asked me to do, no matter what it is, or how long ago He told me to do it, I’m robbing both myself, and whoever it is that He had in mind when He asked me to do that thing.
So, here I am finally doing what I was told to do. Writing words that may or may not be read by someone else. Because, as my wise wife told me last night, I’m supposed to write, no matter if anyone reads it or not.
Instead of living for each day and being thankful for where I am and what I have, if I’m not intentional about my thought life, I can very easily fall into being disappointed in myself. I’m not even sure where that came from. I think we all have dreams for what we’ll someday become or what we would like to accomplish in life. If we’re not there yet, should we feel disappointment, though? Maybe it comes from looking too far ahead, and forgetting all the great things we’ve done in our past.
Simply living out life and doing what we know we’re supposed to do can yield fruit that we may never even realize. The other day after my wife got off the phone with one of our kids, she told me that he had said something neither of us had thought of. We got married when I was 24, and she already had 4 kids. Like any new parent, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, so I just did the best I could with what I knew, and I think I got a little better as time went on. I’ve always been very intentional in how I treat my wife, whether anyone else is around or not. I’ve also been responsible in showing up for work and doing what I’m being paid for while I’m there. I just found out that those two simple things have made a huge impact on one of my sons. He told my wife, “I ask myself all the time, “How would Aaron do this?” when I’m making a decision on what to do.”
That short little statement right there made me realize it’s the little things, and the way we live our day to day lives that make the biggest impact on the people around us. This stuff can’t be taught with head knowledge or telling someone how to do them. If we’re consistenetly true to who we were created to be in the everyday, mundane day to day lives we live, we will have an impact on those around us. We don’t have to browbeat people into coming over to our way of thinking. In fact, that’s probably the best way to prove to them we have no idea what we’re talking about. Especially if we’re believers. For far too long, the church has been perceived as an exclusive club of people with superiority complexes who would rather do anything other than give someone outside the club our time and attention.
I just realized last night and this morning, both through conversation with my infinitely patient wife, and crying my way through several worship songs this morning as our breakfast was cooking itself in the oven, that I’ve been focusing entirely too much on the not yet happening aspects of my life rather than the amazing blessings and ridiculously trauma free life I’ve lived over the past 40 plus years.
How am I going to give away the light I have inside me if I’m sitting here in the dark, brooding over something that was said or done yesterday, last week, last year, or whenever that seemed malicious or intentional? Where is my focus supposed to be? Should it be on the current political or social climate? Or should it be on the people I have right here around me that I can reach out and touch? People with whom I can just be who I was created to be, living out my mundane, day to day existence doing what I know is right, based on who and what I am in and through the one who created me.
I’ve finally grown sick of being focused on the wrong things. I now realize it’s been killing me over the past several weeks and even months, and it’s robbed me of the enjoyment I was intended to have on a daily basis. Not to say every day is going to be easy. That’s just crazy talk right there. But every day will certainly be easier when I remember to be more intentional about what it is I’m focusing on and spending my attention on.
It’s far too easy to fall into the trap of becoming stuck on that one thing, focusing on it instead of on the One who made us. That one thing could be something someone said to us. Remember that unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting someone else to suffer. That someone else probably doesn’t even realize they’ve slighted you. Even if they do, your refusing to forgive them really doesn’t affect them in the slightest. Except that it changes how you interact with them. If it changes how you interact with them, it could very possible change your witness before them, and they’ll see darkness in you instead of the light and life that is the very purpose for our being on this planet right here and right now.
Or maybe that one thing is the dream you’ve had within yourself for so long that at this very moment still hasn’t been realized. Ok, so you haven’t made it there yet, but are you still breathing? Don’t give up and stop doing the very things that will propel you in the direction of that dream just because it’s taken longer than you originally thought it would take. Were you given a specific time table, succinctly spelled out by God Himself, telling you when you would have that dream come true? If not, who are you to say that it’s taking too long, or moving too slowly? Maybe you’re expecting something different out of that dream than what it was originally intended to accomplish in your life. If you were told to write, were you told that millions would be reading what you were writing? If not, why are you questioning the point of your writing? You weren’t told, “Go and be read.”, were you? Writing isn’t being read. Writing is writing.
If you were told to pray for someone, would you stop praying for them simply because you weren’t personally seeing the results of that prayer? Who are you to put a timetable on what God has asked you to do? If He asked you to do something, and you’re not currently doing it, why not?
Trust me, I’m talking as much to myself as I am to the person reading this. I don’t have anything figured out here. Except that by not following through on what God has asked me to do, no matter what it is, or how long ago He told me to do it, I’m robbing both myself, and whoever it is that He had in mind when He asked me to do that thing.
So, here I am finally doing what I was told to do. Writing words that may or may not be read by someone else. Because, as my wise wife told me last night, I’m supposed to write, no matter if anyone reads it or not.
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