Why is it that some people never grow up? It's like they're stunted at five years old and have never discovered that the world actually doesn't revolve around them. They continually cause problems and then complain that there is a problem. Everyone around them can see what the cause of the problem is, but can't say anything because the one that caused it will throw themselves on the floor and pitch a fit, figuratively speaking, of course. At least I hope so. No one wants to see that kind of display, so no one says anything to point out the true problem. Instead, people leave at the first opportunity, cutting ties and shutting the true problem out of their lives.
We have an entire society full of people like this today. Just look at any given post on social media. No matter what the subject matter, eighty percent of the time, the comments descend into diatribe in five comments or less. This is now spilling over into life outside the virtual world. Everyone seems to think everyone else simply has to hear their opinion. And agree with it. We've become a nation of cowards who are ruled by their feelings, which are hurt all the time because they somehow have never learned that they aren't as important as they want to be. They've never gotten over being told that what they've done is amazing when it's obviously subpar. If you've ever watched American Idol, you've seen the results this can bring. This is where always focusing on self-esteem and feelings has brought us. Where do we go from here?
It would be a great idea to actually start taking score again in kids' sports. There are truly losers in this world. Not to say that losing makes you a loser, but if you get a prize every time you do something, even when the other team has stomped on you, you'll probably start to expect it. That doesn't translate well to the real world, and for good reason. I've worked with individuals ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-five who got all bent out of shape because they felt they didn't receive the proper recognition for simply doing their job. Here's a hint: if you got paid, consider that your recognition.
Now that I've addressed the employee side of the equation, here's one for people in management or ownership positions, who have people working for them that they should be LEADING. If you're the owner, stop whining about having to be there all the time. You're an adult, and have made decisions in your life that put you in the position where you currently are. If you own the company, that company is YOUR baby. You will never have employees who are as invested in YOUR company as you are. At the end of the day, every employee you have, no matter how dedicated, is there for one reason, and one reason only. A paycheck. If your company goes under, they'll simply go and find another job. You are the only one holding the bag of responsibility. Quit trying to guilt your employees into carrying that responsibility for you. It's not ever going to happen, and it shouldn't. All you're accomplishing by trying to get them to carry something you're obviously too weak to carry is chasing off your company's greatest asset: people who show up every day and do the day to day things that keep your company in business. Eventually, you'll chase enough of them away that word will get around, and you'll be left holding the bag, which is as it should be. Like I said before, it's your bag/baby/responsibility, and absolutely no one else's.
Every conversation you have with employees shouldn't revolve around what they did wrong, or what they screwed up. If all they do is make messes you have to clean up, then why are they still there? Once again, that's on you. More than likely, though, they do a bang up job ninety-six percent of the time or more, and only miss things on occasion. Pretty sure that's called being a person. How about, instead of constantly focusing on that measly little four percent all the time, you actually say two words that will carry most people for weeks or months. Either, "Good job," or "Thank you," would work pretty well, or you could go wild and come up with your own. Oh, and it helps immensely if you mean it when you say it. People will be able to tell, trust me.
If you're not that person that treats his or her employees poorly, odds are, you've worked for someone who did. I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't have at least one boss who at the minimum treated them badly, and at the worst, flat-out abused them. If you ever end up in a leadership position, either in management, or as the owner of a company, remember how much you dreaded going to work then. Don't be that guy.
Oh, and if you're fortunate enough to work for yourself, remember not to be that guy, either. It's easy to be your own worst critic. Instead of focusing on how badly you may have just screwed something up, look back at what you've built thus far. It'll probably inspire you! Remember that when you mess up or fail, it's not a waste of time. You just figured out what doesn't work. So, here's a note specifically for writers, simply because I are one. Even if you just deleted thousands of words that took you weeks to write, you've just learned how NOT to write dialogue, characterization, or an action sequence in the future. Just think about how much time that knowledge will save you in the coming years!
Until next time, stay safe, and above all, be true to yourself.
That Aaron Guy
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